Nurse Fantasies
by Phoenix Fidelius
Summary: Edgeworth?  Get sick?  Who better to take care of him than Maya!  Well...maybe not. xD  Oneshot MayaXEdgeworth.


Kehehe...I promised some different pairings and so here ya go. Maya/Edgeworth isn't necessarily my favorite pairing, but I do like it in that it frees up Nick and Franziska to be paired together, since they are the best. xD Anyway, here's some shameless moosh for you all to enjoy/barf at/scoff at/criticize. Probably more of the latter three. xD

**Just to be clear, I don't own Miles Edgeworth or Maya Fey kthx.**

* * *

This couldn't be happening. How could he have gotten sick? Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth glared at himself in the bathroom mirror. He was still in his pajamas, looking quite disheveled. How ridiculous he looked, but there was little use in trying to put on any decent clothes. He'd sent his entire wardrobe to the cleaners to be decontaminated. The whole situation left him utterly humiliated. Edgeworth couldn't even remember the last time he'd even so much as coughed, let alone miss a day of work, and now he had somehow been reduced to a sniveling invalid.

Examining the bags that had formed under his eyes from a sleepless night, he quickly grew disgusted with himself and flung open the medicine cabinet, picking a bottle of flu medicine and downing a couple of pills.

Shuffling back into the bedroom of his condo, he could hardly believe the state of disarray. His normally pristine living space was now strewn with tissue paper, empty bottles of water, and bunches of blankets, which he had alternately covered himself with and tossed aside as he tried in vain to achieve a comfortable temperature. And, for once, Edgeworth had absolutely _no_ desire to clean any of it.

_I really must be sick,_ Edgeworth thought at his acceptance of the mess. _I'm probably dying._

Edgeworth's cynical inner mumblings were soon interrupted by a loud and excited knock on the door, which resonated uncomfortably in Edgeworth's aching head. Having thus been sufficiently disposed to bite the head off whoever had the gall to call on him today, he stalked to the door, loading all his most acidic words into one killing statement. He opened the door, but before he could destroy his unwitting intruder in a barrage of caustic eloquence, he was greeted by a young woman dressed in a most absurd costume.

"Hiya, Mr. Edgeworth!" beamed Maya, quite a bit too loud for Edgeworth's taste. "I heard from Nick that you were sick! He suggested that I come over and see how you were!"

Edgeworth winced at her voice, which rang out like a siren. "Maya…if you could lower the volume…"

"Oh, sorry!" she burst out, making Edgeworth massage his temples in frustration. "I mean, _sorry!" _she corrected in a whisper.

Great, this was great. Edgeworth did not fancy having Maya attempt to "care" for him; he felt sure it would end with his apartment in an even direr state of chaos and him with more of a migraine than he already had. Damn that Wright for sending her here, Edgeworth felt like socking him in his smug face.

"So, can I come in?" Maya said brightly, oblivious to the poisonous vibes Edgeworth was emitting.

Well, it seemed there was no use. Edgeworth was in no mood to argue with her. "Fine. Just…try not to…touch anything," he sniffled, trying to preempt any sort of "help" she might try to issue him. But it appeared Maya was not to be stopped.

"Don't be silly Mr. Edgeworth, I'm here to take care of you!" she beamed, confirming his worst fears. "You just go to bed and just leave everything to your very own Nurse Maya!"

"But…maybe you shouldn't…" Edgeworth tried, but Maya wouldn't let him finish.

"No no no, Mr. Edgeworth, you are going right back to bed!" she said sternly as she goaded him back into his bedroom and into the bed, throwing the covers over him. Edgeworth watched as she disappeared into the kitchen area, an increasing trepidation coming over him.

And it was not five minutes later that his fears were realized.

"YAAHHHH!" Maya's shriek assaulted the air, Edgeworth wincing once again, though this time not so much for the pain but for the torturous thoughts of what on earth the bumbling medium could have done. Much to his horror, his question was answered within a second, as the fire alarm went off, sending waves of agony throbbing through his tender brain. Eyes watering, he said a silent prayer for patience and hauled himself out of bed as quickly as he could.

"Maya, what – _ohmygod!!!_" bellowed Edgeworth, as he found a pot on the stove that was completely engulfed in flames.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Edgeworth, I just wanted to make you some soup!" Maya shrieked over the alarm. Edgeworth moved to turn off the stove. "Please, let me help, I can fix it!" she pleaded.

"Maya wait!" Edgeworth yelled, but it was too late. With his hands reaching over the stove to turn the heat off, Maya grabbed the pot of soup in an attempt to move the flaming concoction into the sink. But between Edgeworth's yell and the hotness of the pot handle, she flung away the pot, the contents sloshing about, sending off a burst of flame that managed to catch the sleeve of Edgeworth's pajama shirt on fire.

"Aaagghhh!" he yelped, flailing his arm around as the fire began to climb the sleeve.

"Oh my god, Mr. Edgeworth! I – I…" Maya panicked, and scanned the kitchen, her eyes resting upon the detachable sink nozzle. She pulled it out, extending the hose, and turned the water on full blast, closing her eyes as she sprayed wildly in the general direction of Edgeworth's flaming arm and the burning pot.

"Maya, Maya! That's enough already!" Edgeworth spluttered through the torrent of water that was quickly drenching his kitchen.

Finally, she turned the water off, and stared wide-eyed at the disaster she had created. Edgeworth, head now pulsing, died a little bit inside at the sight of it all, vowing to exterminate a certain Phoenix Wright at the first possible moment…..

* * *

After demanding that Maya sit in a chair in the corner of the living room and not move, Edgeworth had managed to dry off most of his kitchen, now soaking wet himself and shivering worse than ever. This would be one day he would not want to remember.

"Maya," he called in an emotionless tone. She started at his voice, and then sullenly followed Edgeworth as he led her into the bathroom. It seemed that since her little fiasco she had lost all desire to play nurse.

"Mr. Edgeworth, I'm…really sorry…" she sniffed pathetically. Edgeworth said nothing. He simply took out some gauze, a tube of ointment, and a bandage.

"Hand," he said, holding out his. She obediently obliged. "Other hand."

_Oh. So that's what he meant,_ thought Maya, and she gave him the hand she had burned on the pot. He applied the ointment with the gauze tenderly, though it still stung at first. Neither spoke. Maya noted with some relief that Edgeworth's face did not seem to hold any sort of anger or contempt for her. She allowed herself a quick smile.

"I guess I'm pretty useless, huh?" she said when he had finally put the bandage on. "I mean, I came here to take care of _you_, and somehow you've ended up taking care of _me._" She smiled wryly. For a moment Edgeworth said nothing as he replaced the ointment in the cabinet. He shot her a half smirk over his shoulder.

"It's about what I expected, from the instant I saw you at the door."

"Yeah, I guess I do usually cause more trouble than I mean."

He sighed, exhausted. "It's fine. Don't wo-o-oooaAAACHOOO!"

"Oh, Mr. Edgeworth, look what I did to you, you're completely wet and shaking!" Maya cried in distress. "Well, there's nothing to be done but get you out of those clothes…"

"Wha…wait!" Edgeworth cried in distress, as Maya began to strip his PJs without any qualms. Soon he was clutching his exposed body in discomfort, in nothing but his boxers, which, much to his chagrin, were just as wet as anything.

"W-well, there's no getting around this, Mr. Edgeworth," she said, a fierce blush streaked across her face. She made to remove his last piece of clothing, before Edgeworth jumped away in fear for his…privacy.

"I think I can do that by myself thank you," he said, trying hard to keep the temperature from rising in his own cheeks.

Once Maya was shooed from the bathroom, she looked through the bedroom for some sign of replacement clothing.

"Hey Mr. Edgeworth, where are all your clothes?" Maya called through the door. Inside, Edgeworth froze stiff in the middle of toweling himself dry. He cursed himself, his face now feeling very, very warm. Of course, today of all days, he _had _to send all his things to be cleaned. What sheer luck.

"Erm…Maya. I – well…my clothes are all being cleaned right now…you'll just have to give me some, um…underwear…" he blundered, fighting down his own humiliation.

"Ok!" Maya seemed unfazed by this. A moment later, Maya opened the door a crack and tossed in a pair of boxers with a teddy bear pattern on them. Edgeworth hung his head.

"Those are real cute, Mr. Edgeworth, I'm surprised!" chimed Maya from the bedroom.

_Thank you, Maya. Thank you ever so much, _steamed Edgeworth, slipping the shorts on and creeping out of the bathroom.

"Oh there you are Mr. Edgeworth. You really shouldn't be hanging around in just your underpants, so you just get under the covers. Don't worry, I won't try and cook or anything," she added when he shot her a look. He slipped himself under the covers, and almost unwillingly closed his eyes. This was only for a second however.

He felt the bed depress next to him, and his eyes shot wide open. He glanced over nervously, and his heart began to throb worse than his head when he saw Maya crawling into bed with him.

"Maya, wh – what on earth are you doing?!" he demanded, hiding his half-nakedness with the covers as best he could.

"Oh well, I just figured if I laid next to you your body temperature would synch up with mine. My sister used to do it when I was sick," she said, totally oblivious to his dithering, and to the fact that it might be weird that she was in bed with a man clad in just a pair of teddy bear boxers.

"Bu…but I wouldn't want you to catch my flu so I think maybe…" Edgeworth flailed hopelessly, but Maya hushed him.

"Don't worry about that, Mr. Edgeworth! I train for hours at a time under icy cold waterfalls, and I never get sick! I think I can handle it," she gave him a knowing smile as she pulled the covers over herself and turned to face him, her eyes full of sparkling innocence. "I just want to be helpful in at least a small way."

"M – m – mm…." Edgeworth found himself speechless, and quickly sat board stiff on his back as Maya snuggled up against his arm.

"Boy this is a great bed, I'm so comfortable! I think I could take a nice nap, I'm so tired!" she yawned. She looked up at Edgeworth from her place against his side. Edgeworth tried hard to meet her gaze but the fire in his cheeks forced him to look elsewhere.

"Goodnight Mr. Edgeworth, I hope you get better soon." With that she closed her eyes.

Edgeworth peered cautiously at the sleeping form of Maya, still clutching his arm. His mind wearily tried to interpret things. He felt…he felt…warm…but not too warm. He was just right. After all his adjusting of blankets the night before, finding a comfortable temperature impossible, all it had took was this girl to nuzzle up beside him. Finding he had calmed considerably, Edgeworth smiled kindly at Maya, and found himself drifting into the most restful sleep he'd had in ages.


End file.
